Saturday, November 29, 2008
oh damn, i totally have to change this layout. i'm not 18 anymore (although that is definitely an excellent age to be) hahaha
brin bit this at ; 9:59 AM
hmm.
a while ago, if someone told me i would go 5+ months or more without talking to you i think i would have just laughed and said they were crazy or something. because everyday without talking to you felt strangely impairing. we knew it was wrong, it'd never work out and yet we still went ahead with it anyway. it was hard, but now i'm better, and i'm moving on with my life, as i hope/know you are too. i'm writing this here because i know you'll definitely see it here, as opposed to starting up a conversation with you somewhere else, and we know how stupid that would be for the both of us. so good luck with your life. it was worthwhile knowing you. and remember the promise, and what i told you after. (:
brin bit this at ; 9:41 AM
Friday, November 28, 2008
omg,
just found this really old poem i wrote god knows how long ago. apparently i wrote it when i was erm.. in a less sober state. but surprisingly its not too bad! maybe i should like live one week on beer/alcohol alone and write numerous poems and then publish an anthology of near-drunkeness/high/drunk poetry. hmm. but that would be quite bad because most of them would be about how i have no money left since i spent it all on booze, how i am not going to be able to afford clothes/shoes/other essentials, or how colin firth still looks good if i do a headstand and look at his pictures. hmm.
i am supposed to be mugging right now but for some reason i am slightly distracted, so i'm sure there's no harm in taking a 5 minute break. anyway i wonder who came up with the word 'mugging' to substitute studying. very wth in an ironic way considering mugging means stealing and studying steals away your time and strength (which could be better spent partying, shopping, or not doing anything useful in particular - which is also a strangely fulfilling activity) and why am i on about semantics. having a non-native english speaking bf who constantly asks you questions on language probably is one of the main reasons. eg: "are the stairs blinking or lighted?", "is there something wrong with the tense?", "oh i pronounced 'debt' correctly? actually i just said it in French, didn't know this was the english word too."
anyway, am considering taking handwriting classes or something. the handwriting is getting from bad to worse. got so paranoid about prof ling's warnings abt handwriting for my SSD paper that i wrote slower, tried to properly form my words and letters and ended up nearly not having enough time to finish the paper. sighhh. i just hope i don't screw up the exams this sem or my cap is gonna drop even lower and i can kiss my chances for sep goodbye. goodbye non existent semester in UConn, it was nice thinking about you for a while. oh well, maybe nus will let me go to some place which not many applied to. i suppose i could try learning Finnish or something..
sigh, i need to go running. (both a need/want) ah crap, have spent 20 min writing this. wthhhhh. okay study time! here i come s.e.a lit! tataaa.
brin bit this at ; 10:26 AM
Saturday, November 8, 2008
p.s. for the life of me, i've been searching for ages for this poem called "center of the universe" which we did during lit. class a long while back in SR. i can't remember the poet, but i remember it was a relatively awesome poem. loll. so if anyone knows it, let me know! many many spanks. (:
brin bit this at ; 8:01 PM
omg i haven't posted anything since july! alright, anyway felt like posting something today, since it's been quite a while and all. life is alright, still shit screwed bcs of assignments etc. got 2 more major ones to go, and then its exams and then... BATAM again! yayyyy.
hmm okay nevermind. so quite a bit has happened since july i guess, but then if you're reading this, you probably know me, and hence wont need to ask me what or whatever. was feeling quite shit today, trying to cram in my essay, and other problems, so decided (after a very long hiatus) to write a poem. (it is only relatively emo, don''t worry.) lol so here it is (probably won't make sense unless you know the context i guess):
Neither Here Nor ThereYou held me like a dove,
Peace in hand,
Land of endless clichés,
But you loved me that way.
And when night turned to cold,
My eyes found refuge in your clammy hands,
Freezing ice-cold outside, but heat within,
Turning you to snow.
I let you touch me as often as you wish,
Let you play me like guitar.
Let you adjust my strings,
Finger the frets til you were satisfied.
I gave in whole,
Breathed you in,
And then you let go,
Watch me turn animal,
Curl in arms,
Smell your skin,
Lose myself
As I lose you.
I am your pet trophy, your medal
You wear across your heart,
Throw me over your shoulders,
Sling me across your chest,
While you sing tales of the one that succumbed.
Your hands are still cold,
But the landscape which forms in me is no longer barren.
Though you are neither here nor there,
I wonder how long –
If I should wait,
Until the sunrise suppresses the clouds of dark,
The empty mountains in horizons stay clear,
With only a swallow by the rock,
Facing the river that you hear.
And as you watch this,
will you miss me then?
hmmm. okay it probably came out a little more depressing than i had hoped, but whatever. alritey, am off to shower, dinner, and then hopefully will finish my 20th century essay and start on my Blazing Saddles one tomorrow. will update more soon! (:
brin bit this at ; 7:54 PM