Monday, December 14, 2009

The Centre of the Universe - Paul Durcan

Pushing my trolley about in the supermarket,

I am the centre of the universe;

Up and down the aisle of beans and juices,

I am the centre of the universe;

It does not matter that I live alone;

It does not matter that I am a jilted lover;

It does not matter that I am a misfit in my job;

I am the centre of the universe.

But i'm always here, if you want me-

For I am the centre of the universe.

I enjoy being the centre of the universe.

It is not easy being the centre of the universe

But I enjoy it.

I take pleasure in,

I delight in,

Being the centre if the universe.

At six o'clock a.m. this morning I had a phone call;

It was from a friend, a man in Los Angeles;

'Paul, I don't know what time it is in Dublin

But I simply had to call you;

I cannot stand LA so I thought I'd call you.'

I calmed him down as best I could.

I'm always here, if you want me-

For I am the centre of the universe.

iii

I had barely put the phone down when it rang again,

This time from a friend in Sao Paulo in Brazil;

'Paul- do you know what is the population of Sao Paulo?

I will tell you: it is twelve million skulls.

Twelve million pairs of feet in the one footbath.

Twelve million pairs of eyes in the one fishbowl.

It is unspeakable, I tell you, unspeakable.'

I calmed him down.

I'm always here, if you want me-

For I am the centre of the universe.

But then when the phone rang a third time and it was not yet 6:30 a.m.

The petals of my own hysteria began to wake up and unfurl.

This time it was a woman I know in New York City:

'Paul- New York is a Cage.'

and she began to cry a little bit over the phone,

And from five thousand miles away i mopped up her tears.

I dabbed each tear from her cheek

With just a word or two or three from my calm voice.

I'm always here, if you want me-

For I am the centre of the universe.

But now tonight it is myself;

Sitting at my aluminum double-glazed window in Dublin City;

Crying just a little bit into my black tee shirt.

If only there was just one human being out there

With whom I could make a home? Share a home?

Just one creature out there in the night-

Is there not just one creature out there in the night?

In Helenski, perhaps? Or in Reykjavik?

Or in Chapelizod? Or in Malahide?

So you see, I have to calm myself down also

If I am to remain the centre of the universe;

It's by no means an exclusivley self-centered automatic thing

Being the centre of the universe.

I'm always here, if you want me-

For I am the centre of the universe.

brin bit this at ; 12:02 PM

Monday, December 14, 2009

because i'm queing, i'm waiting.

i don't know how many of these actually still work.

just so i won't get arrested.

behind, behind.