Friday, February 26, 2010
hooray! tentative essay plan for renaissance done, along with.. well.. 1 reading. but whatever. looks like i can actually start typing out the essay tonight. oh joy. anddd, i love prof nardin for granting me a slight extension on my other essay. really does help when i'm coughing my lungs out. keep hammering my heart (err the area around it. loll wtf.) like one would do with a broken vending machine. quite scary if it wasn't so funny. nvm.
anyway, received the HP hp straps today (lol.) and realised they sent me 2 Slytherin ones! WTH. if it wasn't some random dealer i'd be wondering if he was trying to imply something. hmm. nevermind. so i've got to go get it exchanged tomorrow. at least hes coming to sengkang so its not that bad. mum got a new hp today, some LG thing. works pretty fine, but everytime it connects to the internet automatically i freak out bcs of the data charges. should just stick to switching off network transm. before attempting to connect to anything. (a little loophole i've discovered upon trying to connect to wifi on my phone. lol.)
am at my hiding corner again btw. think better when there is slightly "cleaner" air and less temptation to fall asleep on one's bed/sofa/random chairs/stoning in front of the fridge. hmm. also, these south asian lectures make me feel extremely guilty because i'm constantly reminded of what a terrible Indian (half Indian) i am, unable to speak the bloody language(s), or know my roots or whatever. even more guilty when ppl ask me stuff in class that i feel i should know, but don't. as a result have been fluffing my way through like i always do, carefully avoiding things i dont know and basically making roundabout arguments of the things i do.
also, feel guilty i've not been spending enough time with my grandparents and have this sudden urge to just go over and ask them everything. hmm, quite looking forward to talking to my grandpa about stuff ive managed to figure out this semester. so i'll be ready for any unexpected questions -
grandpa: "what do you think is the cause of..."
me: "well, i read that..."
grandpa: "no, no, i don't care about what other ppl think. what do you think about...?"
lol. have always felt this need to impress him and do him proud. and when i was younger i remember everyone talking to him about "big people stuff", err mainly politics, etc. and i always wanted to join in but i never knew how. as a result he just let me sip his beer so that i felt slightly important. LOL. the only questions i got where from my uncles who would ask me if i could tell the time on my watch. (i was not that stupid a 7 year old.) yawn. so now.. i can! yay. these conversations with him always leave me feeling plesantly stupid and interested in stuff i never thought i'd be interested in. also, realised that the school we visited in little india used to be my grandma's old school. how cool is that. hmm. will also need to go exploring little india with my grandma soon, and probably get some appam.
heh heh. see, i am making an effort man. i've even been listening to Jai Ho. HAHAHA. okay nevermind. i fail.
anyway, moral of the story is that i need to know more things so i do not embarass myself at future family functions which i strategically try to avoid. which reminds me, also have to come up with more intelligent answers the next time someone asks me "why aren't you married/why don't you have a boyfriend" or "why are u studying literature? do you want to be a teacher?" at which point of time i shall bullshit aimlessly about random stuff i have learnt, to avoid sounding like a total dumbass. hah.
p.s. have not had the chance to pretend to be Brazillian or Mexican this semester because no one has asked so far. (altho i have seen the typical cautionary gazes from time to time in various classes, and i suspect it will be soon. heh heh.)
oh shit, what a long blog post. but whatever, i'm just delaying time to start my essay. yawn. okay, shall head home and actually start on it in a bit. am still enjoying fresh air but i also need to pee. hahaha. whatever. tirra!
brin bit this at ; 9:02 PM
